A Father's Thoughts on his Daughter's Wedding Day

On a spring day in May, nearly a quarter-century ago, God, in His infinite wisdom, decided that my wife and I should be given responsibility for another new soul.  Having patiently waited so long and prayed so diligently, God gave us the very special blessing of a daughter.

I remember holding this delicate, newborn girl in my arms and wondering what the future would hold for her and, yes, even then, praying that she would, in God's time, find a partner to spend her life with.  Sometimes as I rocked her to sleep I'd look into the tiny cherub's face and try to imagine how it would feel when I might have the honor of walking her down the aisle as she began a new life.  

So here we are, the day has arrived and I no longer need to guess about how would feel.  I will try to explain this feeling even though words fail in many ways to do it justice.

Over the years, I think I have figured out that God has a special recipe for daughters.  I think He begins with a spirit of kindness, caring, and grace for he knows those who are frightened, alone, and in need will be drawn to her.  He puts into her a spirit of strength, courage, and determination for the times when she must lead, encourage, and defend.  He adds to this a spirit of wisdom for He knows she will be a teacher, and a spirit of humility, and cooperation because He desires for her to be a partner.

Sometimes, just for a challenge, He spices the mix with a little, sassy spunk which takes about 13 years to make an appearance and another 10 to learn to manage.

Most importantly, when God gives a man a daughter, he takes a large chunk of the father's heart and a heaping portion of the father's spirit and mixes it in.  But here is the thing, He doesn't remove it first.  Therein lies the mystery.  I think that a father is forever joined with his daughter in a very special way, his heart in her heart, his spirit in her spirit.

...as I danced with Cinderella...

I see it as natural that a son strives to separate himself from his father, become independent, and honor his father through imitation and thoughtful refinement.  A daughter, it seems to me, is different in that way.  I think she nurtures this special connection with her dad like she might take care of a fruit tree; pruning here and there as old ways become memories while feeding the roots and encouraging the tree to continue to bear its fruit. 

It seems fitting to me that a man can give his whole heart to his wife, and still share it in a special way with their daughter(s).  It is magical and mystical.  

When God decides to find a partner for a daughter, it is time for a father's role to change. It is a bittersweet change because, though the world he had known is forever changed, his heart and his spirit have become part of something new, and it transforms him and his world grows larger.  ...and this is the thing that the prince never knew.  

So I pray for this newly married couple, this new partnership, this newly blessed covenant.  May they make a warm home, and a loving family.  May they love without bounds and, if they are blessed with a daughter, may Kyle feel the wonder of someday seeing his heart and spirit carried away in love as a new world spins into creation. 

Cheryl and Kyle Melnyk, October 21, 2022

...thank you to Steven Curtis Chapman for the beautiful song "Dancing with Cinderella" and for reminding us fathers to appreciate the moments we have with our daughters