The World Was on Autopilot

The world changed the week of March 9th 2020.  Just prior to that, I had actually started to write about how the world seemed to be on auto-pilot.  My thoughts began to orient along that line when my youngest daughter and I went to Texas Roadhouse to get a steak (I had a gift card that I needed to use up).  I didn't think to call ahead, but I figured if we went reasonably early it would be fine.  I was wrong, the place was mobbed.

When we arrived there were already people waiting outside.  We checked in with the hostess.  She rattled some memorized, scripted statements so quickly that I could not even comprehend what she said.  She then handed me a pager and I got the general idea of what to do.  We waded back through the sea of humanity gathered in the waiting area and managed to find a place to sit shoulder-to-shoulder with dozens of other people queued up in a long narrow waiting room.  Twenty minutes later the pager buzzed and we returned to the hostess who took the pager and motion us to another waiting line.  Eventually, we were seated.  The waitress arrived and muttered some memorized lines in a completely insincere tone of voice and handed us menus.  I'm sure it began "Hi, welcome to Texas Roadhouse, I'm <insert name>. Have you been here before?"  I thought to myself that this is not a restaurant, it is a feeding factory.  It is the Walmart of steak places.  The staff was completely on auto-pilot.

A couple of days later I was getting a blood test.  I arrived at the lab in the hospital when it opened first thing in the morning.  I was the third person in line.  When it was my turn to check-in, I walked up to the desk.  I was treated with a well-rehearsed set of instructions that included providing my insurance card and identification.  It was identical to what I had already heard twice.  There was no acknowledgment of any of us as actual human beings with identities.  We represented "blood draws" or "needle sticks".  The attitude was professional and respectful but was completely rehearsed and lacked any notion of sincerity or compassion.  I was in a laboratory test factory.  The staff was on autopilot.  

I understand that seeing everyone as an individual slows things down.  I get that it takes some effort to remember all of what you need to cover if you don't say the same thing, the same way every time.

A skill that actors are required to develop is the ability to make their lines "new" every time they perform.  This audience hasn't heard them yet.  They deserve the best.  I understand though that these are not professional actors.  They are simply people who fight the boredom involved in repeating the same process over and over again.  Tomorrow will be the same as today and the day after.  The brain-numbing repetition must be terrible.

Then I went to the dentist.  After my regular bi-annual cleaning we set up the next appointment for six months hence.  I remember saying that that would be fine.  The audacity of my statement in retrospect was amazing.  It was not fine.  Everything would change, and change again, and again as we navigated through the COVID pandemic, the lockdowns, the masking, the cancelations and the fear.

It seems that there will never be a return to "normal".  How can we?  Nothing is clear and literally, everyone is impacted. There is only tomorrow, we cannot see beyond that.  The steak factory is shut down.  Lab testing has new rules to even get through the front door.  What awaits us is a mystery.  Perhaps it's always been that way and we somehow failed to understand it.

And now, after only a month, people are demanding an end to the "lockdown".  They view it as a personal front to their personal liberty.  It is not that.  It is actually a sign of respect for our community.  We are not hiding from the virus.  We are avoiding the potential to pass it along if we are afflicted with it.  We are looking out for our neighbor.  That would be a good new normal, but I suspect it is a wasted lesson in most cases.